Dear Student,
In this article, we will look at examples of letters written by past winners of the Studyportals Scholarship to discover why their texts won us over. What is the secret ingredient that can turn a good letter into a winning letter? In fact, there isn’t one ingredient but the combination of three essential elements that complement each other: YOU, your STORY, and your writing STYLE.
To understand how we found these elements, think about the purpose of your motivation letter. In the letter, you’re using your past to paint an image of your future. With your achievements, life story, and traits of your personality, you construct a snapshot of a future other people want to be a part of. And if you make them believe in your dream, they will want to support you in making it come true.
In many useful guides and templates on how to write your motivation letter, you’ll learn that your letter should include the following information:
- the study programme you applied for
- previous education
- relevant work or volunteer experience
- a clear plan of what you intend to do once you graduate
- past experiences that support your choice of study and future plans
That’s true, but this should be the skeleton of your letter. What you want them to see is not this skeleton but a beautiful story in which you are the hero. The information above holds it all together in a subtle way, without drawing attention to itself. Now let’s understand these three elements better by identifying them in actual letters written by students who won the IDA scholarship.
What’s Your Story?
Your Story is the beating heart of your letter. It’s the thing that gives it life. You are the hero of your story. What did you learn from the challenges you faced (or witnessed) so far in your life?
Let’s see how Rita Ashemeza and Madalin Rodriguez, former winners of our Studyportals IDA Scholarship worth 10,000 presented their stories and challenges.
Fragment from Rita’s letter:
“Growing up in a small village in Western Uganda, I had no access to sanitary pads, except for old, used pieces of cloth. In my school, I could count on one hand those who were able to access sanitary pads. For me, this was a significant challenge, not only for my health, but also for my ability to concentrate in class while worrying things would go wrong at any moment. It was after experiencing this hardship that I dreamed of helping women and girls in Western Uganda with sustainable menstrual education and supplies. ”
→ It’s hard to win a scholarship without a good story. Many applicants have only high marks and got into a top school. Many are nice people with good writing skills.
Rita worked hard for her dream to become an international student in MSc in Communication: Media Management at Universita della Svizzera Italiana. But her dream wasn’t just about herself. She was determined to ensure women and girls in Western Uganda have access to menstrual supplies and education.
Fragment from Madalin’s letter:
“Living in Mexico during my developmental years made me witness children getting taken out of schools for survival reasons. This experience made me aware that many children live without food security and the opportunity for an education. I abruptly left the comfort of my home at the age of twelve for a better education in the United States with the intent to help uplift my family from poverty. Due to my familiarity with worries for food security and education from an early age, I came to realize that I want to dedicate my life to helping and protecting children from these concerns.”
→ Madalin’s story follows her personal fights and achievements in her journey to help children access education and happy childhoods.
Key takeaways in both examples:
Each story is deeply connected to the academic goal of the student. Both dream to have a positive impact on the world they live in. And they don’t just say this. They show it through their story. They use their hardships to learn from and support their development towards becoming a person empowered to make changes.
You don’t need a sad story to win a scholarship. You need a story showing you know how to overcome challenges, grow as a person, and find your purpose. Perhaps you grew up in the mountains and want to protect wildlife, so you want to study Natural Sciences and Wildlife Conservation. Or you’ve always dreamed of studying Engineering and Robotics ever since you were building robots out of cardboard boxes. Tell it with honesty, and people will believe it.
Who are You?
In the Story section, we focused on the external things that have influenced your life so far, but who You are is a quality of the inner world. How do you show that? The answer lies in using your actions, thoughts, and plans to speak in your place. Don’t tell the committee you are a great person. Your traits of character should (and will) transpire from your letter. Use the writing principle of show, don’t tell.
Thus, you’ll need to show the admission committee that you are:
1. Ambitious and Caring
You have a clear personal and professional goal which aims at improving society or the lives of others, and you know how to achieve it. Let’s see it in examples:
Rita’s letter:
“It was after experiencing this hardship that I dreamed of helping women and girls in Western Uganda with sustainable menstrual education and supplies.”
→ Notice how you learn that she cares about others and wants to help them.
“This year, I was accepted to study an MSc in Communication: Media Management at Universita della Svizzera Italiana. This programme perfectly aligns with my desire to pursue journalism and social change. With classes such as Applied Social Entrepreneurship, Project Management, and Social Impact Marketing, a semester internship, and university connections to experts in Geneva, I will be able to get the training needed to understand and create social change.”
→ In the above fragment, her ambition transpires through her plan to turn her dream into reality.
Madalin’s letter:
“Even if some of those changes can only be achieved within a small scope, I will know that I am contributing to something bigger than me if at least one person gets the opportunity to choose their own fate.”
→ This part of her letter shows her dedication to helping others.
“Not only are these my main goals, but through this specific programme, I want to learn about different ways I can advocate against child abuse and the involvement of sex trafficking. Overall, I would like to advocate for ways where children can remain children.”
→ She has a concrete goal that she’s working towards.
2. Original:
You can think outside the box, are imaginative and have creative ideas.
Madalin’s letter:
“I want to accomplish different ways I can provide these resources to children without taking on an ethnocentric mindset amongst different cultures.”
→ This shows the originality of her thinking.
“This is why I believe The University of Padova is the place that can provide that by being away from the influence of American culture and giving me the skills to break previous biases I may have from that culture.”
→ She wants to be exposed to other cultures and perspectives in order to gain more flexibility in thinking and become more open-minded.
3. Independent
You seek personal improvement and can step outside your comfort zone.
Rita’s letter:
“This talent, combined with hard work, has allowed me to go from a girl in the village whose only hope was a life of digging to graduating with a Bachelor’s of Mass Communication, getting a job at Uganda’s biggest youth radio station Galaxy FM 100.2, and earning a promotion three times.”
Madalin’s letter:
“I abruptly left the comfort of my home at the age of twelve for a better education in the United States with the intent to help uplift my family from poverty.”
4. Honest
You can speak openly about both your strengths and weaknesses.
Rita’s letter:
“I need training in how to take my journalistic experience and turn it into social impact; I have the ability to see the 'why' behind the issue of menstrual health in my village, but I need to learn the 'how' of change.”
→ She admits she is not able to do what she wants yet.
5. Passionate
You’re curious to try new things and have a lot of energy for the things you care about.
Madalin’s letter:
“I travelled to Italy through a culture exchange program to further practice the language and immerse myself into the culture. These qualities were skills I felt necessary to have before trying to help others in their journeys. I wanted to become more knowledgeable about other cultures and ways in which people are getting sequestered away from resources.”
→ She put in considerable effort in gaining more knowledge about the subject she’s passionate about.
Style: find your voice
Style, the third essential element of your motivation letter, refers to How you tell your story. You can be an incredible person with a touching story, but if you write about it in an unconvincing way, chances are you won’t get the scholarship. That’s because the admission officers won’t get the chance to see You or your Story behind the writing.
Remember Rita’s first words in her letter?
“Growing up in a small village in Western Uganda, I had no access to sanitary pads, except for old, used pieces of cloth. In my school, I could count on one hand those who were able to access sanitary pads.”
→ This beginning immediately captures your attention because of how direct and honest it is. At the same time, it shows that Rita is a person who is not afraid to call things by their name. She starts with what is most important and has the courage to speak up about unfair situations, even if it means putting herself into the spotlight.
Also, let’s see how Madalin starts her letter:
“Living should not be sacrificing oneself just to see the next day. Living should be the opportunity to choose one's own faith. I chose to dedicate my life so others have access to opportunities and exposure outside of what is available to them.”
→ Madalin begins her motivation letter differently, but her choice is just as effective at capturing the reader’s attention. She chose to present her strongest belief first: her “raison d'être,” her reason for living, the purpose she gave to her life. These lines show that Madalin has a philosophical approach to life. She is the kind of person who can dedicate herself fully to a cause, and she seeks meaning beyond practical events.
In conclusion…
When you write the letter, try to find your unique voice. Imagine you are talking to a friend, or a loved one, and you express yourself naturally. This is when you are most authentic, and your personality transpires through your words.
Use a warm, personal voice. Let them know you through your words. And the best place to do it is at the beginning of your letter. Start strong to capture their attention. Just like first impressions when meeting a new person are very important, so are the first couple of sentences in a motivation letter. Unconsciously, when we read them, we form an opinion about you. It’s hard to change it later.
Before you craft your own letter, please remember: you can’t write a perfect letter. Rita and Madalin didn’t write perfect letters either. But they spoke their truths and put their hearts on the paper. Because when you ponder these three elements carefully (Story, You, and Style), magic happens. Your letter will awaken an emotion in readers’ hearts: and that’s the secret to any winning letter.